Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
MIDGETS
????
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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