What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
