I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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