I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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