i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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