i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize