I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
