Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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