oh god the rape fog is back!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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