I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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