Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
