im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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