dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
