it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
