I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Semen is not good for contacts.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
