It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
