they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
