the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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