Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
