She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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