Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
