I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
so much tequila, so little girl.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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