Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Duck Duck Cougar?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
