I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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