He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
