The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think my moral compass just broke
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
