How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
