Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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