i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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