so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
