She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
