ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
