Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Randomize