new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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