Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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