also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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