Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
