he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So vagazzling was a success
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
