she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
