he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
