You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
