just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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