Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
