you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
