I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
