you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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