i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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