Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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