return my video game
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
