We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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