butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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