People in love make me want to vomit
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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