is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize