arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
