you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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