I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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